another tear damp morning

my room feels empty now.
a somber silence deafens the air around.
who will i weep with today, tomorrow, and the next?
it's lonely here without you.
my room has lost its comfort.
even with light this darkness doesn't lift.
it won't for some time.

I already miss holding you, scatching behind your ears, rubbing your curious nose.
I miss your sneezes and rummaging around.
I miss your warmth.
Beh, you were so cold.
So cold and stiff I can't stand to think of it.
You were so different than you used to be...
you were gone, and I felt the solid form that replaced your light presence.
your cage is so hard to look at.
you're gone.
and you are still.
no matter the times i tell myself this, it hurts just the same.
i wish i could wake up to you again.
i'm sorry you died alone.
i wish i could hold you again.
i'm sorry i wasn't there.
i'm sorry if it hurt.
i wish you were still here.
i love you Beh.